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Mel's Procrastination Palace
Friday, September 30, 2005 Of Cats and Men...

I figured I should share funny animals stories here, since I had posted the dog poop post over in Breakfast Bitches.

Lemme tell you about Clyde. Clyde's a four year old black tom cat. Bad genes gifted him with a huuuuuge flat fact and giant yellow bug-eyes. He's allergic, likely to fleas, so he's licked the fur off the back half of his scrawny body, leaving him hideously pitiful looking. He even got shafted in the voice department. Any meow comes out as a hoarse squeak. (His mom and sister had this same affliction)

My father in law is the official owner of said cat, but because he keeps him outdoors and in an unheated garage, I've taken him in and fostered him through cold weather. He's a shy thing (probably from my brood of cats that are triple his size) but he's gotten to where he'd crawl up on the couch and into my lap to get warm. He's not the type you walk up to and certainly don't pick up. Despite being in the house with other males (neutered tho) we never, ever had an incident of Clyde spraying. Ever.

So, he's back at f-i-l's house, living in garage. He's friends with Pop (f-i-l), but usually only comes out voluntarily if pop has kitty treats, preferring to hide beneath the car or in the bowels of 15 yrs of garage treasure. Earlier this week, Pop had gotten a phone call regarding a tractor he had for sale and knew some guy was coming to look at it. Pop was in garage, sitting in lawn chair, waiting for guy, Clyde nowhere in site.

Pop described this guy as skanky. Reeked of pot, looked unwashed and was eyeing the contents of the garage with way too much interest, actually walking around the car (tractor was in driveway, mind you) to be nosy. Pop was uncomfortable and actually got rude with guy to the extent of asking him if he wanted the tractor or not because he had things to do.

Guy's standing at mouth of garage door. Clyde, bless his bareass, darted out from beneath the car, runs up to guys feet, does a 360* and sprays urine on this guy, then zooms back under the car.

Pop said guy looked at feet, at car, at Pop, then said, "Did you see what he did?"
Pop's reply, "Yes, and if you'd have been here alone he'd have torn you up." (I don't doubt this)

When the guy left, my father in law called me, in tears, laughing so hard he could barely get the story out. He did promise he'll never put Clyde in the garage during the winter, that *his* cat forever had a place in his warm house.

I'm buying Pop a sign for the garage that reads: "Beware of Attack Cat."

Posted by Melani Blazer :: 9:32 AM :: 2 comments

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