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Mel's Procrastination Palace
Friday, September 30, 2005 When all else fails, cut off their....

Last night I read a chapter for my pal Jaci. As many of you know, she contracted this kick ass book called Surviving Demon Island with Bantam Dell a little while back and is hard at work on it. I think the title is enough background for you to understand the following conversation I had with my hero when I got up this morning.

Me: What the hell was that? You're supposed to give me plot ideas and thoughts on conflict, motivation and furthering the plot while I'm dreaming, not take her ideas and build on 'em.

Hero: You've written two chapters. Two. I haven't gotten to go to the track, I haven't gotten laid yet, and that kiss. One lousy kiss. How dare you give me a conscience? The dude in Surviving Demon Island is getting to do all kinds of cool shit. I get dressed up in some lame ass suit and go to some boring ass party. Thanks.

Me: Two chapters. She's on chapter, what? Eleven, of course you're not getting full fledged action yet. Besides, I'm working on the sex-ten, trying to get it more obvious that you and the heroine [Molly] are gonna get together.

Hero: Great, I can look forward to blue balls for another chapter while you build up the tension. What the hell was I thinking? I coulda picked up some broad at Fifth and Main and had a quickie while waiting for you to play out this drama. Sex woman, and if not sex, at least let me drive!

Me: Back to this dream, so you've decided that while I'm ratcheting up sex ten, you're gonna go demon hunting?

Hero: Yeah, so?

Me: You're a Nascar driver, not a demon hunter. You don't know shit about hunting demons. You drive, smile at the camera and are searching for a good, wholesome woman to settle down with, capiche?

Hero: Lame, lame, lame. I want wild parties, naked women and fast cars. Can't you fire me? What's a guy gotta do around here to get fired? I want Jaci to write me in her story.

Me: You might not wanna talk like that. I heard about some...bloodshed, or did you forget about that?

Hero: He was a *bleep*. I'll just--

Me: No. You can't take your car to the jungle and you can't run over demons. Doesn't work. Besides. That big heavy car with those tires just won't cut it. You'll be a sitting duck for a hungry demon. I repeat: You're a Nascar driver. Not a demon hunter. No, you cannot join the demon hunters, even if they are getting more action that you. No, the car won't be a logical weapon in the jungle, I'm sure it'll get stuck in the sand. Seriously. And no, I really doubt there's a demon threat at the track. Leave it up to the professionals to get to the demons, and quit looking at Gina's ass. Stick with Molly, k?

Hero: You suck. Did you see that suit she was wearing? Not an ounce of flesh anywhere. Gina's one hot cookie. I'd like to ---

Me: Fine. No sex for you until at least chapter ten. And then maybe I'll give you a...small---

Hero: Don't even go there.

Posted by Melani Blazer :: 6:27 PM :: 3 comments

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Of Cats and Men...

I figured I should share funny animals stories here, since I had posted the dog poop post over in Breakfast Bitches.

Lemme tell you about Clyde. Clyde's a four year old black tom cat. Bad genes gifted him with a huuuuuge flat fact and giant yellow bug-eyes. He's allergic, likely to fleas, so he's licked the fur off the back half of his scrawny body, leaving him hideously pitiful looking. He even got shafted in the voice department. Any meow comes out as a hoarse squeak. (His mom and sister had this same affliction)

My father in law is the official owner of said cat, but because he keeps him outdoors and in an unheated garage, I've taken him in and fostered him through cold weather. He's a shy thing (probably from my brood of cats that are triple his size) but he's gotten to where he'd crawl up on the couch and into my lap to get warm. He's not the type you walk up to and certainly don't pick up. Despite being in the house with other males (neutered tho) we never, ever had an incident of Clyde spraying. Ever.

So, he's back at f-i-l's house, living in garage. He's friends with Pop (f-i-l), but usually only comes out voluntarily if pop has kitty treats, preferring to hide beneath the car or in the bowels of 15 yrs of garage treasure. Earlier this week, Pop had gotten a phone call regarding a tractor he had for sale and knew some guy was coming to look at it. Pop was in garage, sitting in lawn chair, waiting for guy, Clyde nowhere in site.

Pop described this guy as skanky. Reeked of pot, looked unwashed and was eyeing the contents of the garage with way too much interest, actually walking around the car (tractor was in driveway, mind you) to be nosy. Pop was uncomfortable and actually got rude with guy to the extent of asking him if he wanted the tractor or not because he had things to do.

Guy's standing at mouth of garage door. Clyde, bless his bareass, darted out from beneath the car, runs up to guys feet, does a 360* and sprays urine on this guy, then zooms back under the car.

Pop said guy looked at feet, at car, at Pop, then said, "Did you see what he did?"
Pop's reply, "Yes, and if you'd have been here alone he'd have torn you up." (I don't doubt this)

When the guy left, my father in law called me, in tears, laughing so hard he could barely get the story out. He did promise he'll never put Clyde in the garage during the winter, that *his* cat forever had a place in his warm house.

I'm buying Pop a sign for the garage that reads: "Beware of Attack Cat."

Posted by Melani Blazer :: 9:32 AM :: 2 comments

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Thursday, September 22, 2005 It's time to BITE!!!

*TODAY*TODAY*TODAY* whoops... mispelled that and made it "toy day" oh, heck, if it means you get a free Caveman toy when you buy a book, hmmmmm, (thought-jack there, sorry, but talk about incentive to sell books.... I wonder if the powers-that-be at Ellora's Cave have given that a thought?)

Anyhoot, what I was getting at with my silly little song--aint' it funny how everytime I blog lately (like twice) I've got songs running through my head? Blame Cameron Crowe... 'nother whole story, but I love the concept....

Today--without relevance to any musical--Ellora's Cavemen:Legendary Tails III featuring *MY* story, The Last Bite has been released..... and it's available in e-book form and print. Ain't that the coolest thing in the world? *wink* knew you'd agree.

In case you were wondering, my story features vampire--actually, a reunion of sorts between vampire bounty hunters who used to be partners. (yes... in and outta the sack!) The chemistry is still there, despite some serious secrets between them. :) I hope you all enjoy it!!!

(And next week I'll torture you with another, totally DIFFERENT vampire story in the upcoming Things that Go Bump in the Night V Anthology....)

Posted by Melani Blazer :: 2:56 PM :: 1 comments

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Monday, September 19, 2005 Manic Monday

Normally, I commiserate with the lyrics of that song. Monday's are usually...hectic, but I rarely complain because staying busy makes the day job go fast. Today was a little more than hectic. But it also was a day for putting things in perspective.

I won't bore you with the details, but my boss's office had a major tussle with the hot water heater located directly above it. Since gravity was rooting for the water heater, it won. His desk, computer, briefcase and well, everything in, on and around it were bathed in soggy ceiling tiles and dirty water. It was lovely.

But while we had to deal with trying to carry on with the normal Monday duties while assessing and minimizing damage--we all laughed. Immediately we knew, without saying, that it could have been worse. I think all of you know that, too. Granted, I know the boss was frustrated and knew this was going to hit the pocketbook, he kept up amazingly upbeat and on track. Normally I don't praise him, but for once, he didn't dwell on the negative, but rather joked all day about "being all washed up" and "soaking wet" and any other quip he could think of. Files can be replaced. He did mourn several photographs that won't survive, but again, we all know that's piddly compared to people in this world facing losses on much grander scales.

So on the way home, I hear the song, Manic Monday. I laughed. Lord, I laughed. Because while I was exhausted, my clothing bore the signs of lifting, carrying and sorting wet everything, I was still done for the day, on my way home and had the ability TO laugh. What good is that ability if we don't use it? Manic Monday? The Bangles capitalized on it, why shouldn't we all?

I just pray tomorrow is ALOT calmer. Cuz the only thing I can think of is Terrible Tuesday. *groan*

Posted by Melani Blazer :: 9:14 PM :: 2 comments

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Monday, September 12, 2005


Another shot of the cousins... Haley's about 27 hrs old in this picture. Posted by Picasa

Posted by Melani Blazer :: 7:06 PM :: 2 comments

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OOOOH, I've got a new neice. (That would be my daughter holding her new cousin... ain't they cute?) Posted by Picasa

Posted by Melani Blazer :: 7:05 PM :: 0 comments

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Wednesday, September 07, 2005 ***thud****

Hot Road Heaven is now listed as paperback available at B&N.com.... check it out!

(This is the ass, er.... cover to die for. *swoon*, and I don't mind saying so myself because syneca is a GODDESS!)

Back to your regularly scheduled programming.....

Posted by Melani Blazer :: 8:04 AM :: 0 comments

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Sunday, September 04, 2005 Coming September 28th!


Upcoming Release!!!!! Posted by Picasa

Anyone like vampires? Hot sexy vampires, even.... and haunted houses? In just a few short weeks, this anthology, containing my story, Haunted Redemption will be available from Ellora's Cave!

Blurb: He isn’t the Scott she once knew. Lili never expected to see him again, but when she does, the sparks between them make Halloween a night to remember. It had been at a haunted house ten years earlier that Scott had disappeared. Lili has no intention of letting history repeat itself.
Scott returns, desperate to see the woman he’d left behind, knowing he’ll have one night—one night to savor for an eternity. He hasn’t counted on the power of their attraction—and the devastating effects his secret will have on the woman he loves.


Excerpt: Haunted Redemption, (c) 2005 Melani Blazer

Scott caught his breath when she'd opened the door and looked around. There was a sense of awe on her face. Lord, was she beautiful. The candles made her pale skin glow and her eyes seem so large and full of life. Even her lips looked pink and ready to be kissed.

He backed even more in the corner and arranged his hardening cock. She was ripe. Sexy. It'd been a long, damn time.

"Scott?" she called softly.

"Come in, Lili. I've been waiting."

Her eyes darted to the corners where the light didn't reach. His skin tingled as she looked right at him and paused. He wanted her to see him. To know him. To want to see him again.

"Waiting for what?"

He admired the way she stood there at the door, one hand still behind her on the knob. Her chin was up, her eyes searching, her posture straight. The years had been good to her. There was strength there now. She'd come into her own.

It made him crazy with want for her. But he had to tone that down and go easy. "You were all I could think about tonight. Tell me, Lili, do vampires intrigue you?"

She released her hold and took two steps into the room. The candles hit the red highlights in her hair and made it look like a halo of fire surrounded her. She was thinner, too, those lovely curves more defined. Her creamy skin glowed in the candlelight. He'd imagined her, dreamed her so many times in a room like this that he wondered if this was another of his mind’s creations or if it were finally real.

"Vampire?" she asked, her bottom lip sticking out slightly as she frowned, then shrugged. "All things Halloween intrigue me. The vampire myth suits me. What about you?"

He pushed the top hat lower on his head and took a step forward. He smiled when he heard her gasp. The extra touch of the black tuxedo and top hat was definitely worth the amazement and split second of unguarded interest that flashed on her face. "My costume of choice is certainly Dracula. Women find him irresistible."

His cock tightened even more as her eyes traced up his legs and over his torso. She squinted as she looked at his face. He held his breath. Waiting.

"And your purpose for this costume tonight?"

Touché. He applauded her sass. "Ah, it's a twofold purpose you see. I certainly had hoped you would allow me a dance." Walking up to her, he drank in her beauty. He wanted to memorize every inch of skin, every curve and valley of her body. Then he took her hand and bowed, pressing a kiss to the middle of her palm.

She gasped.

"May I?" he asked.

Despite the indecision in her eyes, he knew she wouldn't say no. He'd taken the steps to make sure it wasn't easy for her to walk away.

He walked around her, forcing her to turn and follow his movements as he eyed the gentle dip of her waist and that flash of cleavage against the stark white cotton. The way she stood there, her stare unflinchingly direct, her posture straight, almost defiant, made his mouth water for her. If she let him, no, when she let him, he intended to taste every inch of her flesh. But he hadn't even coaxed her into his arms yet.

Taking her hand again, he made her half turn into his embrace. Perfect. Her eyes widened as she grabbed his shoulders to steady herself. Reaching down with his free hand, he touched the remote in his pocket. Music from nearly a century earlier filled the room. He hoped it enticed her to dance with him.

He wanted to freeze that moment and memorize her wondrous smile. She looked up and around as if transported back in time, much the way he'd felt when he'd walked into this room. No way would he allow the atmosphere here to be compromised with the modern props they'd used downstairs.

"Dance with me," he whispered, leaning close and encircling her waist with one hand. Together they crossed the scarred wooden floor in a simple waltz. She felt so right in his arms, from the cherished way he held her to the gentle pressure he exuded while leading the dance. He drank her in, the way the candlelight played over the color of her hair to the way it contrasted with her creamy skin. He’d missed this. God, he’d missed her. With each simple breath, her scent filled his nostrils, both jarring memories he thought he’d forgotten and creating amazing new ones. She wore a faint perfume, something very light and feminine, slightly floral mixed with a hint of vanilla. Innocence. That was her aura. Despite the costume, despite his own intimate knowledge of her body, she radiated a purity that had him desperate to possess her and protect her all at once.

Posted by Melani Blazer :: 9:54 AM :: 1 comments

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Saturday, September 03, 2005


Since my schedule won't let me out with the camera today, I decided to browze through the snapshots I'd set aside to one day upload. This one seems to capture the way I feel today. (otherwise undefinable).... Posted by Picasa

Posted by Melani Blazer :: 5:02 PM :: 1 comments

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Thursday, September 01, 2005 A thought here and there....

Still in inspiration mode from Jaci's wonderful news, I've been synopsizing. Or rather, Sucknopsizing. Although, honestly? When done as a plotting mechanism and tense doesn't matter--and I can riddle the thing with Annnn Dennnnnn's, well, it's kind of rewarding to see a story come together in a few (try 30) pages....

I've been watching the Katrina catastrophe and my heart goes out to those suffering because of it. I've tried to do my part and will continue to pray for the safety of those affected.

I got the cover for the upcoming "Things That Go Bump in the Night V" anthology due out approximately a month from now. :) I'll try to get that posted up here soon! (including a teaser, ya'll might enjoy a teaser, yes?)

Also, a week before TTGBITN comes out, the Legendary Tails III will be released simultaneously in print and e-book. Be ready on September 22 to read this great six person anthology. There's something for everyone in there! :) (And the reviews we've been getting have been great!*huge grin*)

Hope everyone's greeting September with a smile, if only because a smile makes both you and those around you feel better.

Posted by Melani Blazer :: 10:49 AM :: 1 comments

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